Thursday, August 30, 2007

Vogue Hits Rock Bottom (Hopefully)

One reason a lot of women may be sewing now is the contents of the latest mega-Vogue, a monstrous 840 pages that hurts your arms to hold it. Out of all of these pages--longer than Gone with the Wind--I found exactly 12 items that I would wear (assuming a perfect body and any age I might want to be). That is a whoppping 1 percent!!!! The trend in Vogue over the last year is not that women should project beauty or grace but power and ugliness. Sodomy also seemed to get a lot of play in the latest Vogue, with plenty of bare bottoms on both men and women. Power is the name that includes this outfit and charming hairdo (part of Vogue articles not advertising).

Do you find this a bit intimidating?

Then there is the highly popular gladiator look. Note the large metallic belt. This belt, which may be in leather or metal, is considered "flattering." Note the other theme I mentioned above.

Something terrible has happened at Burberry akin to the 1929 Stock Market Crash. Note the gladiator belt on the right.

The Addams family as lesbians...

Feeling like General Custer in the throes of a nervous breakdown awash with guilt about the Indians, then this is the outfit for you.

Or, if the Lady MacBeth in Akiro Kurosawa's Throne of Blood is your role model, then this is your outfit... especially if you are of Scots heritage.

Am I missing something?

Should it be any surprise that all of this noxious ugliness celebrates the flapper era, when women were first turned into scarecrows and fashion was created so that instead of beauty and grace, women would project ugliness and ready availability? The damp vamp, compliments of Vogue, is immediately below.

Now here is a dress that might have some potential but all the extensive detailing in the top and bottom has the effect of adding body armour, and the effect is not any flowing or clear line but encrustation. Feeling like a bug, are you?

There were other dresses, like these, with nice fabrics or a nice line but that came the length of a tennis skirt... Tennis anyone, anywhere?

Here is what I liked:
Beautiful coat, love the color of the gloves with it. I would love to wear this. (Please X out the ugly shoes, slouch, and expression of the model.)

I like this coat also, although in winter it would need a scarf. Nice line.

The coat on the left is gorgeous. Soft and lovely. (Note the lesbian connotation though in the Vogue photo set-up.)

Nice, simple dresses I would be very happy to wear.

This is from an advertisement for what are labeled as "retro" shoes. The whole outfit looks great to me. I would wear it all in a minute.

I like this dress, and as far as I can see, it doesn't have a tennis skirt. This is a 1930s kind of dress, not 1920s, and in the 1930s, women were again allowed to be feminine after the masculine ravaging of the 1920s, when women were referred to as "la garconne"--that is, the feminine boy. The jewelry, the hat, and the pose of the model are not in keeping with the dress.

Sadly, I have not had the occasion to wear a formal gown since I was in 12th grade, but if I did and if I had a perfect figure, I would be very happy to wear one of these.

And that is the end of what I found in the latest 840-page Vogue that I would enjoy wearing.

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